When I prayed last year for one word to define my 2018, (I thought, am pretty sure) I heard the word “rest.” I anticipated 2018 being a year of pensive quiet and restorative down time.
I think my spiritual ears are hard of hearing. My life is so devoid of rest it’s comical. I haven’t slept more than 5 hours a night in 8 days. I pause barely long enough to use the bathroom throughout the day, chasing my small people all over kingdom come.
I was very discouraged about this the entire year. I felt as though I’d failed at being still, and making this year a year of rest. So I evaluated what I’ve spent so much time doing.
Obviously, pregnancy, birthing a baby, and three other children have kept my time. So too have my relationships with family and friends both new and old. Chores, writing, traveling, and volunteer work ate into that precious time. What finally brought me peace was that as I look at my (very full) calendar, everything I see is something important to me; something that my family and I are made to do. It’s not full of tedium; it’s bursting with meaning and purpose.
I’ve cut out unwanted time sucks. I’ve spent 2018 decluttering two storage units and a house! I’ve chiseled away at the things that keep me from true meaning and joy. I’ve created less, which has in turn given me so much more.
There hasn’t been as much rest as I’d like, but with less to both manage and exhaust me, I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m reevaluating what rest means in this season of life (making out with my coffee every morning while sneaking in a quick devotional and prayer pause.) I’m joyful for this year long process of clearing out.
As we plow through the final quarter of the year I invite you to pause. Think about your hopes and plans for this year. Have your plans come to fruition, or have you found this scripture to be fitting for your life: “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s will that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)
If you find as I did, that your spirit was misled, either by your own desires or plans, don’t fret. Look the year in the eye. Dig deep to see what God is doing. Are you stronger or gentler or wiser because of what you’ve been through? Even the worst years can have a way of bringing us victory, because we know that, “the testing of our faith produces perseverance.” James 1:3