I quit social media in January…here’s what I’ve learned in 9 months:

While writing this post, I realized that the social media using Angel would have felt judged by someone writing this type of content, so all I have to say to you if you’re having those thoughts and emotions is that I do not sit in a seat of judgement! You do you, the best you can…

Last year, 2018, I found myself holding my fourth and final child, in the middle of the night, nursing and scrolling through Instagram.

The content was obviously created by a very intelligent robot, because item after item was posted in my feed asking my heart and mind to commit to the process of consumerism. There were nursing teas, newborn clothing, fitness apps, and more all vying for my attention.

Interspersed in the ads were well planned posts from “influencers,” and even “friends.”

Between Facebook and instagram, I was spending 5-10 HOURS a week or more on social media.

Aint nobody got time for that. Especially a nobody with four kids.

Between my self disgust for wasting time, being tempted into buying things I just didn’t need and my growing suspicion that social media is the vehicle known as the crazy train we’re all riding through this dark world, I’d had enough.

I vowed to remove myself from social media, whether temporarily or permanently I wasn’t sure, but I was taking a long break.

One of my biggest hurdles was the fact that I’d hosted my inspirational messages on Facebook, and needed to go through them to save certain posts and content that I hadn’t previously. In this process, I realized the heartbreaking truth that even my best efforts to inspire were fed through a vessel that had consumption as it’s only goal. People were maybe finding some inspiration, but they’d simply consume it and keep scrolling.

After managing to save the content I valued, I deleted it all. Instagram. Facebook. I wasn’t a snap chat or twitter user, so that didn’t get the eraser. I did keep Pinterest but only for projects that truly needed some inspiration.

And here’s what I’ve learned, nine months later:

1. The people that really care about my life, call or text me. I ran into a lady that was a Facebook friend and she’d HAD A BABY since the last time I’d seen her on social media and I had no clue. I congratulated her but realized we weren’t  actual friends if I hadn’t even known she was pregnant, let alone a new mom! And there’s a lot of peace in that. Peace that leads me to the second thing I learned:

2. The influence of social media is so pervasive that it is impossible to not let the lives of others into your own when you use it. The best part of not having social media is knowing that no one is “influencing” me to buy this product, or look this way, or try that craze. I’m a free human making informed decisions based off of my needs, whatever research I want to put into it, and what’s best for me. Not based off of what the world SAYS is best for me.

3. Using social media makes you spend too much money. Social media was bankrupting me. I am for real. People posted their kids fundraisers, I’d give. Products promising to fix the problem I’d just posted because of those super robots and their algorithms? I bought ‘em. People hosted parties for every multilevel marketing company out there…I attended. All of them.

It was bad, to the point of embarrassing. It took me months to turn the consumer mindset around. But the shift has been life changing. I took some of the time I was wasting in the world of social media and invested it into learning everything I can about planning for my financial future. I bought my first stocks and bonds this year, with money I made on apps I discovered in my research. I’m now banking close to $60 a month, just on apps I discovered when I turned off the consumerism mindset and opened my mind to that of a saver.

4. It’s so hard to hear the sweet beauty of children through the noise of fake people and their fake posts about their imaginary perfect children.

I’m sorry y’all, but I spend A LOT of time with kids. And kids are amazing!! But they are just small, minimally jaded versions of all the adults you see out there. Which means they make mistakes. They smell. They snort when they laugh. All these smiling, clean, straight a, athletic kids and their size 4 mommies with perfect highlights and a latte to match were bringing me down.

My own kids are downright anarchists, with Loki level mischief making in their DNA.

I also haven’t made it a single day without one of them barfing in years. They have overactive gag reflexes and they hate to bathe. The self doubt and loathing the social media influence gave to my parenting highlighted these facts about my children with the most neon of pens.

But my boys also have hearts of gold. They’re funny and kind, and I like the anarchy and mischief. I think they get that from me😝

I’ve realized that I’m a more confident parent without being told by the world of social media all the things I should and shouldn’t be seeing in my own kids.

Finally, and this is the most important lesson: all the good things of social media can be gotten elsewhere. Sharing photos and stories about life?

I’ve created a newsletter with a short contact list that I send to close friends and family each month. I include a little bit about our adventures and a few pictures, So that I’m able to connect with others in a way that I control. No ads. No influencers. It’s low key amazing.

And there is this old fashioned thing called a phone book, which in its current body is known as google. I loved asking for suggestions on social media about repair men or products, but now I just read reviews, search google and ASK around.

This social media free year has had some draw backs in that I do miss sharing JOY Life in an easy to reach way for the masses, but it’s given me time to really explore my goals in every area, not only writing, and that’s been invaluable.

So to those considering the change, I’d say do it. You will feel it, and probably negatively at first. I missed social media the first six weeks and hated myself for missing it so much! But I did get past that, and the shifts in my mind and heart have been incredible. I send my best hope to all for the peace not having social media influence life gives!