“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
Aging gracefully comes with a set of challenges that I never expected. As I’m reflecting on my recently passed birthday, I realize that many unresolved insecurities from my youth have matured and their roots have taken deep hold.
While overall, I’ve always been fairly confident and at peace with myself, I’ve found that the phantoms of insecurity have amplified in certain areas over the past few years. Conversely, I care less about what OTHER people think. I’ve realized there is a lot less of that with age, thank goodness!!
When I look in the mirror, I see skin that was graciously clear through my teens and twenties just now struggling to keep breakouts at bay(thank you stress). I see smile lines (that’s what I call them because “crow’s feet” is the UGLIEST TERM EVER) beginning to crease the corners of my eyes. I see a figure that’s strong, but must be forced into submission to be so through exhausting workouts and restrictive food choices (I miss eating like a teenager!).
Beyond the reflection of my big nose and only one dimple, I see in my soul the baggage of being a young wife and mom that’s never lived independently and always wondered what on earth it was like. I see doubts about my ability, character strength, endurance, and at times, a downright unwillingness to keep going.
But the funny thing about insecurity is this: if I’m busy looking in every other direction–at Christ, my family, my friends, community and world–I realize that all those pesky doubts and misgivings are erased. Where I fail, others are strong. The character traits I lack in spades are plentiful and mighty in my loved ones. What I look like or don’t look like fails to matter. Looks aren’t important. God was clear about that.
I know myself better than I ever did, including the uglier bits. But since finding that my insecurities seem insignificant through the correct lens, the lens of Jesus’ infinite perfection and the beauty of human diversity, I find peace is much easier to grab ahold of.
I’m praying for the insecurities you see in yourself to fade and the peace that passes understanding to fill you today, Friends!